On Feb. 3, three households misplaced a son and a sibling, when John “Luke” Fergusson, Joshua Mardis and Nicholas Troutman died in a automotive accident.
The previous few weeks have been tough — and every of the households struggled to pinpoint precisely what the toughest half has been.
“Sure days are simply insufferable,” Anne Fergusson, Luke’s mother, mentioned, “and others are just a little higher.”
However the three households have banded collectively to assist one another — they’re “endlessly certain,” as Joshua’s mother, Yvette Mardis, mentioned. They’ve additionally acquired assist from not solely family and friends, however the JMU group as nicely.
The Fergussons and Troutmans discovered in regards to the accident after police knocked on their doorways at 3:30 a.m. the morning of Feb. 3. The Mardis household, in England on the time, mentioned they have been in suspense for hours attempting to get residence.
Yvette mentioned her first thought was, “This could’t probably be actual.”
“That’s the thoughts at work,” Yvette mentioned. “The information is simply too horrible to wish to consider. So the thoughts doesn’t wish to consider it, and also you don’t.”
Joshua’s father, Kirk Mardis, added to his spouse’s reply: “I feel you assume you’re in a nightmare, actually, and also you’re hoping to get up.”
When Elizabeth “Liza” Fergusson, Luke’s youthful sister, discovered, she mentioned it was one thing she by no means may’ve imagined and the “worst factor ever.”
“It was by no means one thing that crossed my thoughts, that I used to be gonna lose my brother,” Liza mentioned.
Joshua Mardis together with his mother and father, Yvette and Kirk, and sister Haley throughout Christmas.
John Troutman, Nicholas’ father, mentioned his son and his buddies at all times took measures to maintain everybody secure — “it didn’t make any sense,” he mentioned.
Nicholas would’ve turned 20 years outdated Feb. 23, and Luke would’ve turned 20 on Feb. 18. Anne mentioned these have been “more durable days.”
For Jessica Troutman, Nicholas’ mom, there’s no single factor that stands out as the toughest a part of all of it. It’s “the whole lot,” she mentioned. For Kirk, as others echoed, it’s figuring out his son gained’t bodily be in his life anymore.
“One thing lovely’s been ripped out of your life endlessly, however you struggle in opposition to that despair to attempt to go ahead,” Kirk mentioned.
Haley Mardis, Joshua’s sister, mentioned the toughest half has been fascinated about her future and all of the elements of it that Joshua will miss, and all of the issues she’ll miss out on as a result of he’s gone. Choking up, she listed a number of issues which have come to thoughts previously few weeks.
“Realizing that he’s not gonna be at my wedding ceremony and he’s not gonna be a groomsman … Simply figuring out that I’m an solely little one, sort of, now,” Haley mentioned. “It’s simply bizarre to assume, like, all of this stuff that he’s speculated to be part of, like, I don’t get to be an aunt to his children and I don’t get to present his girlfriend a tough time.”
The Fergussons are coping in numerous methods, Anne mentioned. She makes use of humor, like Luke. John Fergusson, Luke’s dad, has gone again to work and copes with a to-do guidelines. Liza’s gone again to highschool, however Anne mentioned she’s principally given up on homework. Liza agreed, saying when everybody else is slacking off of their final semester of highschool, she slacks off a bit extra and is “simply spiraling.”
However every household has leaned on each other. Every set of fogeys attended all three memorial providers on the weekend of Feb. 17-20. The mothers and siblings have group textual content chains collectively to keep up a correspondence.
Every household is in their very own little world, “grieving and drained,” Jessica mentioned. Yvette mentioned they’re all making an attempt to “come out of the funk and the grief” and again to a “semblance of regular life.” However they nonetheless attain out to test in on one another.
This previous weekend, Yvette mentioned, Anne texted the opposite mothers to say, “I hope everybody has a superb tomorrow.”
“That’s it proper now, we hope we’ve a superb tomorrow,” Yvette mentioned. “We hope we rise up off the bed tomorrow, you recognize, after which we’ve, we will operate and have a superb day.”
Haley additionally mentioned she’s been speaking with Jack Troutman, Nicholas’ older brother, and Liza. She mentioned it’s been comforting. They’re all solely youngsters now: Joshua, Nicholas and Luke have been their solely siblings.
Yvette mentioned transferring ahead isn’t one thing anybody can do alone.
“We’re looking for consolation and assist with one another and attempting to recollect our boys and discover consolation and keep in mind their love,” Yvette mentioned. “And hopefully, someday we’re gonna be extra completely satisfied than unhappy having these reminiscences proper now. However we get assist from one another that method as nicely as a result of there have been three households that misplaced their youngsters that night.”
At John “Luke” Fergusson’s memorial service, a desk was arrange with photos and different gadgets representing Luke’s life.
Jessica mentioned her household and Fergussons knew one another solely just a little bit earlier than the accident, as Nicholas and Luke have been roommates. Joshua was a brand new pal to Luke and Nicholas, so the Fergussons and Troutmans didn’t know the Mardises beforehand. However by means of their grief, she mentioned, they’ve cast a lifelong bond.
“It has been … so supportive and so comforting in a method that you’d by no means want on anyone else,” Jessica mentioned. “Like, the truth that these two different households are going by means of this as nicely is terrible, that every one three of us are having to undergo this, but it surely’s been so supportive.”
John Fergusson mentioned his household drove with the Troutmans to Joshua’s memorial service in Williamsburg, Virginia, so that they have been within the automotive collectively for a couple of hours.
All through the hardship, all three households mentioned they’ve acquired overwhelming assist — from one another, from their hometowns and from JMU.
John and Anne Fergusson mentioned Hollie Corridor, JMU’s dean of scholars, was an incredible assist maintaining them up to date on the day of the accident and dealing with them to convey their son again whereas crossing state strains from the accident in West Virginia. Jessica mentioned JMU helped with issues that hadn’t even crossed her thoughts.
“JMU didn’t even blink,” Jessica mentioned.
She acquired an e mail the day after the accident, Jessica mentioned, saying their tuition funds had been stopped.
Whereas the Mardises have been within the U.Okay., Yvette and Kirk mentioned they acquired a lot assist and assist — not simply from JMU, family and friends but additionally from their lodge and airline provider.
“Our fridges are full, we by no means have to consider meals, we by no means have to consider getting issues that we’d like,” Yvette mentioned. “If I want one thing … my buddies are right here, they usually’re there supporting me they usually’re supporting us, and that is the sort of factor you possibly can’t do alone.”
Every household mentioned the vigil held at JMU was useful to them, and John Fergusson mentioned seeing completely different schools mild up with JMU colours and the hundreds of people that confirmed up for the vigil meant loads to them. Anne mentioned she thought it was actually useful for the youngsters and Luke’s, Joshua’s and Nicholas’ buddies.
Every household has acquired assist from folks inside their residence communities, too. The Troutmans acquired a letter from Nicholas’ pal from JMU of their mailbox, and Anne mentioned the Fergussons acquired luggage with plastic lights and messages about Luke on them.
“Simply listening to all these [stories] simply helps us, you recognize, it feels actually good to listen to all these tales and issues from his buddies,” Jessica mentioned.
Yvette, who works at NASA Langley Analysis Middle, and Kirk, who works at FCN IT, mentioned their locations of labor have been useful accommodating them as they grieve and get the whole lot settled.
With the assist of the group, family and friends, every of the households mentioned seeing all the images and movies despatched in of their sons offers them an important consolation, seeing how their boys have been and the lads they have been turning into.
“Issues which have been shared from [Joshua’s] buddies and from the JMU group have made us so actually, actually pleased with him and so sorry that, you recognize, he’s not going to be right here to develop into the fantastic man that he was, he was turning into,” Yvette mentioned.
Though Nicholas was often called a social butterfly, his dad mentioned he usually got here residence to recharge together with his household. Jessica additionally mentioned he was a tough employee who ran a enterprise in the summertime and took on jobs within the neighborhood to earn cash earlier than going again to highschool. Nicholas was a enterprise main, however he was nonetheless determining what to do after school.
“He was completely different than … when he was within the movies and photos we’ve seen. He, I feel when he got here residence, he got here residence to recharge, you recognize? Slept late, and you recognize, sort of watch TV with us and stuff like that,” John Troutman mentioned. “After all he made time for his buddies, however he additionally, you recognize, by no means slouched on doing issues with us and his brother and his grandparents.”
The Fergussons mentioned their son Luke was simply an “simple child,” that he was form and humorous and cared about his household. John Fergusson mentioned Luke took Liza wherever she needed to go — like Cookout and Starbucks — every time he got here again from school, and Anne mentioned she’d purposefully take the good distance again to JMU for holidays simply to listen to him communicate.
“He would simply discuss, discuss, discuss and inform me the whole lot,” Anne mentioned, and he’d finally discover and ask, “The place are we, and why is that this drive taking so lengthy?”
Yvette mentioned Joshua beloved JMU, and on the night time of the accident, he informed her about how a lot he beloved it there and the way completely satisfied he was.
“Josh was simply very resilient and really form,” Kirk mentioned. “That’s the 2 issues that sort of make his legacy, it was that he by no means gave up.”
Michael Dye, considered one of Joshua’s buddies from Walsingham Academy, mentioned throughout his memorial service that Joshua labored very laborious to get into JMU and that it was the place he needed to be. Joshua was very pleased with being a Duke, Dye mentioned.
“He retains me going each day,” Dye mentioned. “I do know we’ll preserve his reminiscence alive … As he wrote in my senior yearbook, ‘I really like you, bro. Associates for all times.’”
Whereas they nonetheless don’t know precisely how or why the accident occurred, the Fergussons, Mardises and Troutmans have discovered leaning on one another for assist means loads throughout this time of therapeutic and transferring ahead.
Jessica mentioned one thing Rabbi Mordy Leimdorfer mentioned at JMU’s vigil caught together with her:
“You recognize, we will ask why one million instances and … we could by no means know why … however we will ask the query, ‘What?’” Jessica mentioned. “What can we do to assist one another? What can we do to get by means of this? What can we do to honor Nicholas and Luke and Josh’s reminiscences? Yeah, what can we do to assist one another and heal? And so we will’t look again. We are able to’t change something, however we will look ahead.”
Whereas the households didn’t know one another nicely earlier than the accident, after shedding their sons and brothers, every mother mentioned it’s a bond they wouldn’t want on any household.
“I feel that’ll preserve the Fergussons, Troutmans and Mardises collectively for some time,” Anne mentioned. “We now share this endlessly.”
